"Liquid Faith"
A Light Is Liquid Faith
This One Is For Those Cold Nights
Those Nights When There Aren't Enough Christmas Lights
Cold Isn't a Temperature
It Is A State Of Mind
When The Heart Is Cold The World Is Cold
And That's A Fact.  That's All Anyone Can Do, Is Pray
That's All Christmas Lights Can Do
They Cast Out Darkness
That's What They Do
Light Is A Force That Can Heal and Cure and Endure
Light Is Among The Most Powerful Forces
Light Is Brave and Kind
Light Shines In Darkness
And It Shall Not Be Put Out
You Cannot Put Out A Light
Lights Burn Because They Believe In God
That is What A Light Is, Faith In God
A Light Is Liquid Faith
It is a remnant of the Divine
It Cannot Be Diminished Nor Extinguished
Light Cannot Be Put Out
If There Were No Light There Were No Life
Life Occurs Because Of Light
Because Of Faith
Because God Has Faith In Us
God Believes In Us
He Believes in the Earth and He Gave It Life
Life Will Go On and On As Long As There is Faith In God
If We Lose Our Faith In God We Lose
Everything
Including Hope!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

Blue Dawn Of Yellow Mountain
Night Lingers Breathlessly By
Little Flowers Bathing In The Moonlight
Streetlamps Glowing Overhead
Stars Bright Lighting Up The Night
Cars Passing Solitary on Empty Streets
Cigarettes In dirty Puddles on the Sidewalk
Sun refuses to look out over the world
people waking up for their breakfast
morning sounds rustle awake from sleep
noone is out at this unholy hour
Water flows softly as though asleep
Gathers itself and releases itself softly
Everything seems to be underwater
a lonely highway leading out of town

"Mountain Range"
When I Was A Little Girl My Parents Would Drive
All Day And Half The Night To The Mountains And Back
We Would Wind around the Gentle Curve of the mountain range
In Our Tuna Can MiniVan,  Skirting the edges of the mountainsides
The BlueRidge Parkway We Got Out and Hiked and Got Snacks
My Parents Would Head Home Late At Night By Getting off the curvy roads
And The Interstate Would Pound Softly Under The Treads Of The Tires
And I Would Lean My Small Bony Body, Usually Dirty And Wet,
against the floor heater and cover up with my coat and dream
In The Middle of the night my mother and father would pull up at our house
and gently slide open the side door of the Van and the cold air would rush in
and they would try to wake me up from my sleeping dreams but I was asleep
And My Father Would Pick Me Up And Carry Me Up The Stairs Gently
And My Mother Would Unlock the door and Pull Down The Covers
And The Would Lay Me Down Softly In Bed On My Feather Pillow
And Kiss Me And Tell Me Goodnight And I Felt So Safe
In Jesus Name,
Amen

I will run and run
faster and faster into the night
I will grow wings and fly away
and no one will weep for me!

"Delirium"
Eating Oatmeal and Juice
You Blow Into The Door Like The Wind
I have been drinking in my heart
I ignore you completely
There are better things to do than wait for you
There is no lack there is no loss
To lose is the greatest and worst form of knowledge
To lose is the worst pain it is indeed the cruelest medicine
the medicine was invented to break the heart
that's all medicine does that's all it ever is or was
it's all we have to keep us alive
i lay awake at four in the morning and stare into the abyss
i feel so far away from my past
the future seems impossible to get to
i think i got lost somewhere in the present
the present is precious and sweet
you think that just being alive will never ever end
there is no thing you can do any more
there is only this feeling of absolute loss
the breaking heart breaks and breaks
you feel yourself becoming something you cannot understand
and never will never were never was
delirium defeats purpose and you fall away into dreams
you forget why you are here and what life is for
you lost sight of all meaning and give in to sleep
you sleep all day and wake up in the middle of the night
it is a dark night the cars are rising and falling like crashing waves
the stars are calling awake and bright and far away
you feel the night becomes you more than the day
as though the day might reveal your shame
your pain the pain that you are falling apart
the pain that noone loves you but the dreams you dream
and even if they did, there is no way of showing it
like they could reach in and pull you out of something you don't understand
like a terrible car wreck that crushes your car like a shell
and it closes in all around you and you just want to sleep
you just want to sleep
In JEsus' Name,
Amen

"Alone"
A Blue Horse
Its mane flying wildly in the wind
A grey horse
like moonbeams or clouds or dreams
A Black horse
against a sea of sunflowers
When I am Old I Will Fall Into Your Arms
We Will Remember The Time When We Went Mad
And When I Decide To Die I'll Think Of You and Be Okay
I Die In My Heart Every Day again and again
There is something terrible I am afraid of out there
something terrible something dark and cold
i cannot explain this fear
if i run out of energy if i run out of time
i will fall into your arms
like a draping piece of heavy cloth
and I will rest, then
sorrows must somehow have an only end
perhaps the best feeling is to be warm and dry
when the dark and cold and drizzling rain
is beating down all around outside
you feel so safe and so alone
I love to feel alone
I love to be alone

When you have done your very best to do your best
They try and try I just want to succeed
sometimes I realize I'll never succeed so I give up and cry
It is the saddest thing in the world

When I am unhappy I cry but I can never find the tears
How could we be so betrayed?  The heart cries
The Heart cries with all that it has

I prayed for you, I covered my head
When being a woman isn't enough for a man
Then you feel hopeless you know you are pretty
but they will never see that you are pretty

When I think I cannot go on I pray with all my heart
They say "Life has Changed" but why has it changed?
I wrote a sad song and nobody cried
I wrote a million sad songs and nobody cares
and the crazy thing is, I don't think anyone ever will

Sometimes being strong is just enough to keep from crying
When you are unutterably human and find yourself alone
There is no help for it, there is no justifying it
There seems no hope for those who are lost
Maybe The Crazy thing is, they say they never get found

I feel lost and I look for myself but I never find my way back
Sometimes I feel happy just to be myself within myself
Sometimes I struggle for an escape but I find no escape
I Think "I'm Dying" and so it seems that I am

Alone and stranded after all these years
Why keep a happy home if there is noone to love you
this is why i feel deeply betrayed by God
because simple because noone loves me
and noone probably ever will, again

It makes me smile to think about my imminent death
The Irony of it is an insult to my very dignity
If I were any Prouder than this I would just cry
just cry and cry but I am too proud to even cry
I feel so very hopeless and sad



They Say "Each of Us Is Who We Are,"
But I really don't think it is so.
I think we are each just a long chain of choices
we go through life doing our best the best we can
we feel deeply lonely especially when not alone
I think we each die and our memory is wiped away
in more ways than one, in our existence and in memories
we die and we are forgotten that is why I promised myself
that I would never let myself become forgotten
I refuse to live my heart and let it be wiped away
I am not a memory.  If I die, there is nothing left at all
Sometimes I think Remembering Others Is The Kindest Thing
Sometimes the world seems so damned dim
sometimes I feel blind but somehow I can see
Sometimes the barrier of love ispushed apart by Many Oceans
Sometimes death just seems imminent
Sometimes one is afraid not of living but of dying
there is nothing so terrifying as dying
i die every night again and again but find no ending
even within my dreams it seems there will be no heaven
I simply refuse to believe there is nothing when we die
I simply refuse I just Pray I Pray all night and every day
I hope so
I Hope There Is Life After Death
I don't want to die
I don't think anybody does
Pain is the ultimate reality
When I am dying I fall to my knees
The Answer must surely come!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen!

The only thing lonelier than being alone on a beautiful night
is being alone and hungry on a beautiful night
when its raining

"Choices"
I Gave You My Heart, Like A Simple White Dove
How Could You ever have had the heart to Betray Me?
I waited under the moon like the Grass Blowing In The Meadows
It Seems I Shall Be Forever Waiting Here
Some Days I look for you and find you have left me here alone
I wonder if we are all going to die i wonder that all the time
Sometimes it seems the pure of heart suffer so much more than you think
We Think we know what good people we all are but we aren't good people
none of us are good people at all we are all just a series of choices
choices we made down the long line of our lives and you know what
we'd all better hope they were good choices nobody is born a good person
it's just a series of decisions we make whether to give or take from the world
choices whether to do good or evil to other living things choices of mercy and release
choices to give up and let it all go or keep on fighting for our lives
I loved you with all my heart and it wasn't a choice
I just loved you!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen